It has been my great pleasure to be a close friend of the DAR Flag Police. Today she rode with me to
the United Daughters of the Confederacy Meeting in Hot Springs, a rather uneventful occasion
compared to the drive home.
Cruising along Highway 7, approaching the Snow Springs "Resale Shoppes" (flea market), we are
casually talking and enjoying the beautiful fall day, when to our surprise the eagle-eyed Flag Police
sees the United States Flag flying "Upside Down"!!!! The Flag Police screams "STOP RIGHT HERE!" I
look in my rear view mirror and see a line of cars following closely. I am torn as to which fate I should
choose: to proceed safely along Hwy 7 or to come to a screaching halt as I have been commanded!
Knowing the Flag Police, I slide into the gravel along the side of the road and try to get my rear end off
the highway before I am slammed by the traffic from behind. Before I can come to a stop, the passenger
door is opened and the Flag Police is marching off toward the flag. And I really mean 'marching'!
I expect her to inquire of the men in the area as to who the owner of the flag might be........but
NOOOOOO! She grabs the flag and pulls it out of the holder and yells at one of the men, "WHO'S
FLAG IS THIS?" He points around the corner and a big Bubba in a red, white, & blue American Flag
bandana 'do-rag' approaches the Flag Police. She's holding the flag like the Stature of Liberty holds the
torch, except she's moving it up and down and shouting, "Is this your flag?" Bubba, who is wearing a
leather vest and week-old beard, is giving her his very best smile, showing what few teeth he has, and
confessing that IT IS HIS FLAG! The Flag Police says, "Don't you know this flag is upside down?"
Bubba, still smiling, says, "It IS????"
I am glad I am still in the car with the motor running, and the passenger door is still open. You see, if
Bubba becomes irate, the Flag Police can jump in and we can speed off.....that is if she backs away. No
chance of that!
Now let's give Bubba credit here. He doesn't have a fancy flag pole, just a stick with a nail in the top and
a nail down along the side where he can slide the flag rivets over the nails and shove the stick into the
flag holder. It works okay, but probably is a bit confusing when you're a real Bubba and the stick is
really short so both ends seem to be the same size. At least he's paying tribute to his country and
seems anxious to correct the situation. Who wouldn't be, with the iron-expressioned Flag Police poking
the flag in his face. Bubba takes the flag and 'pole' and the Flag Police whirls around and glares at me
with tightly cinched lips in a bright red face! She is really mad! No smile.... no thank you.... just "fix it
As she approaches the car, she stops and turns back to watch Bubba as his shaking hands flip the flag
rivets off the nails and he proceeds to turn the flag around. He holds it high, correctly, smiles and says,
"Is this right?" You know, I think he was sincere! The Flag Police shakes her head up and down and
without another word, get in the car.
As we drive off, the Flag Police is visibly upset so I suggest that we turn around and drive by again to
see if he really put it back 'right side up'. That seems to upset the Flag Police even more, so I just keep
Akansa is fortunate to have Pin Police and Flag Police and a lot of flunkies like me who just try to stay in
line........well not always!!! Sometimes it's fun just watching them do their jobs!
|A Funny Thing Happened On the Way Home
by Sylvia Matthews